The 6 Best advice to parents to be kind. What is Positive Discipline Parenting.

6 Best advice to parents to be kind. In this article we will be discussing about the advice to parents on how to be kind to their children. If you are going through child`s positive discipline problem then this article is for you.

(given below are few links that might be helpful)

6 best advice to parents to be kind

1. Give loads and loads of positive attention

Giving positive attention to children comes first in our guide of the 6 best advice to parents to be kind. As we all know the kids, they just love attention good or bad. If they know that they’re gonna get our attention they will do it.

When my children do something nice, if they are putting their toys away or really well-behaved I bake that up so much, so that they feel like they want to do more of that. Kind of in contrast I try to ignore my nervous misbehavior. 

“If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money”

So, when they do little things that are not nice for example tipping the the toy box completely out, it’s not nice, it’s not great, it’s not ideal, someone will have to tidy that up. That is a minor thing that I can let aside.

If I give attention to that the likelihood of them doing that again is higher than if I ignore. That is because they knew that they didn’t really get an attention from mom or dad so it’s not worth doing it again. Ignoring such little things is also one of the 6 best advice to parents.

Focusing a lot on positive behavior, and helpful parenting tips, letting the minor things aside. Obviously the big things you have to give it enough attention but that’s one of the things that we do. So I give advice to parents to be kind, and try to be calm.

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2. Treat the cause and not the symptom 

If your child’s behavior is off, if they’re not themselves, they’re acting up a little bit more, just trying to get your attention, and it’s coming out of nowhere try and look for what’s causing that bad behavior. It won’t always be obvious, you might have to observe for a few weeks to know what’s causing that behavior.

If you know what I mean then you know how hard that can be. Yes you love your children but you also know to have them constantly attached to you is really hard. They are acting up a bit, and throwing tantrums out of nowhere, being a bit more difficult behavior wise. I didn’t know what was causing it but I kind of pay attention to them. I observe them, and see every time what was causing that behavior.

It made me feel really guilty, and sad but it was the fact that they were missing me.

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I’ve been working  really hard over the last couple of weeks. I’ve putting a lot of more extra hours into my work, and you don’t know how that’s affecting your children until it does. I realized that I needed to take a step back and just spend quality time with them. 

I went back to look at my old pictures of  my first child. Watching the amount of time that I spent on the floor playing with her, and spending quality time with her. I know being a second child it’s harder because I already have another child, and now I have a business to run but she shouldn’t suffer.

( Give them attention )

So, I spent my entire day with her dedicating all my attention to her. Her behavior has been fantastic just completely top-notch. She’s being cooperative, she’s being able to play on her own, she’s been able to listen to me, and behave well. That led me to think that I was treating the symptom and not the cause.

I was trying to get her to let go of me, and to not be so clingy. Instead by me being with her a bit more just spending that quality time it was all that she needed. So treating the roots of the main cause is one of the best advice to parents to be kind.

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3. Delayed gratification 

The delayed gratification come third place in our topic about the 6 best advice to parents to be kind. My children love knowing that good work, and good behavior pays off. They love a little reward star, they love reward charts. So, something that I been doing a lot especially since my child started nursery, and they been coming home with stickers and stars.

The teachers said that she did good listening, and things that I`ve been teaching her at home. It really makes a huge difference, and sometimes put tears in your eyes.

“Delayed gratification is important first, and foremost in training children”

So, they really responds to that. I’ll ask her to tidy up her toys she won’t give it a second glance. But if I say to her, if you tidy up your toys, you will get a golden star for good tidying, she will do that immediately. I can see that it really means a lot to her to get that gratification.

So, delayed gratification is something that we can easily do in our house, and its a good advice for parents.

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4. Remove shame from making mistakes 

That is something that we have always done from day one. The way that we do it is we make ourselves look silly or funny if we make mistakes, so that the kids feel like they can be like that as well. They can be free to make mistakes, and there will be no shame in making a mistake.

So, you know if I put the wrong shoe on the wrong foot or you know different pairs of socks the kids pick that up and they say oh, we’ve got the wrong socks. Now they’ve picked up that. I can make fun of my own mistakes so they can make fun of their own mistakes.  

I would just tell you to be more firm with your hands, hold it tight as you need to eat your food. In that way your arms get stronger, so you can hold your cup really tight. My advice to parents to be kind, and ignore little things in life.

If they spill a cup of water because they were just being a bit clumsy it wasn’t something that they were doing to get attention. It was an honest mistake. They know they won’t get into trouble for that. 

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( Something new that I learned )

I learned to use time out but to make sure that it ends. So, in our house we use the thinking step, whenever there’s something behavior-wise that were not happy with, we tell them to go to the thinking step and stay there. After that we’ll come, and talk to them. But I’ve never really thought about time, and how much time they say on this thinking stepping for them. What does it mean when do they know that they’re gonna get out that’s never kind of crossed my mind. 

I just thought that I know when they’re ready. So, that’s all that matters, and they need to know that they’re not going to be there forever.

Young children don’t have a very good grasp of time. Their concept of time is not that sophisticated to know that when mummy ready I’ll come out. One thing that I will be introducing from now on is a little timer. It’s some kind of way I thought about an egg timer because you know it’s a fixed amount of time. 

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It’s something that can be quite intriguing for them. Just say when the timer goes off mummy gonna come and talk to you about what you did. Until then you stay on the thinking step. In that way they know that it always ends, and it always ends at that same point. We can talk about what they did, and say sorry. But I thought that was a great idea, as it also one of the 6 best advice to parents.

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5. Mean what you say 

So, if you say no, stick to it but you can be sensitive to your child’s feelings at the same time as being assertive and sticking by what you said. There is something that causes a lot of friction, and that is something that I have to stick with. We don’t allow snatching toys in our house, if you snatch you’ve got to give it back and say sorry. 

But I am sensitive to the fact that my eldest he has toys that he likes. He’s got favorite toys my youngest not so much, she hasn’t quite got like a lot of preferences but he does. He does have like a few favorite toys and I try to be sensitive to the fact that even if he snatches one of these toys I will say snatching is not good it’s not okay, you’ve got to give it back and say sorry.

( Listen to their feeling )

Later on when I have alone time with him I will talk to him about it. I would say you know if you want to play with that toy because I know it’s your favorite. Maybe tomorrow we’ll leave it in your bedroom so that you can play with it here by yourself and she can play with something else. 

“Words are meaningless without intent and follow through”

So that’s a way of kind of listening to their feelings, and knowing that you know that toy means something to him but also being firm, and assertive that snatching is not okay. He can’t do that even with his favorite toys. It’s something that we try to practice as much as possible.

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( Positive language )

Obviously there are times when that doesn’t work but most of the times I think I’m able to do that. While still trying to be sensitive to the kid`s feelings, the use of positive language is very important. It’s so easy to do once you recognize what negative language is.

For example instead of saying don’t walk in the living room with your shoes on, try to say take your shoes off before you go into the living room. Or don’t throw your clothes on the floor, say take your clothes to the washing basket. If you start to change the way that you bring things, and to adapt everything into a positive language you will notice a difference in your child’s behavior. Remember positive language comes in 6 best advice to parents.

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I read a book called, the secret, which is very famous when I was a teenager. The one thing that stuck with me about that book was that it talked about positive language, and how the universe attracts positive language instead of negative language.

Saying things like I’m going to, I’m going to walk on a straight line, and not fall, if you’re going down like a catwalk or something. You’re worried about falling instead of saying I don’t want to fall because that’s negative language. It then attracts a negative result, and I’m going off on a massive tangent. What I mean is that positive language encourages positive behavior, and that works with adults and kids as well. 

6. Give yourself a break 

You must be wondering how can this be a part of the 6 best advice to parents. As a parent it is tiring and you need to look after yourself, and give yourself a break. I find that after I’ve spent a whole day parenting and I’m quite proud of the way that I parented, like being quite gentle and positive with my kids. 

Yes its true that positive discipline can be quite hard sometimes, its time consuming, and energy consuming. As you’re training your brain to do something that’s not the easy choice, that’s not the easy option. Obviously it’s easier to just shout and get what you want. But its far better to talk softly, be reasonable, be sensitive, and to be a gentle caring loving parent all the time. But to be gentle its important that you calm yourself first.

( It can be hard )

Yes, It’s hard, and it can make you feel quite exhausted. Just you know lacking in patience for anything and anyone else and everything else. Because you’ve used up all of your time and your patience, and your effort to be that parents that you want to be. Although we know it’s worth it, and it pays off being the way that we want to be.

I desperately need to just either be on my own or to be with adult people that I don’t need to tell off or to discipline or to be a role model for, I just need a break, I just need to just like chill out, and what the one thing that really does it for me is going to the gym or exercising doing something that I’m just like relaxing my body, and my mind.

“Give yourself a break before you breakdown”

Now you know why giving yourself a break come in the list of the 6 best advice to parents. My friends, you need time for yourself, you need time to be with people who won’t push your buttons, and make you count to ten and take deep breaths, you need time to gather your thoughts and you need time to miss your kids. 

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What is positive discipline parenting

Parents often have to deal with a bad behavior problem that they cannot seem to control. While some parents might be tempted to give in, and discipline their child. This can lead to many problems later on in life. Instead of punishing the child for his or her actions try using different strategies that are more effective, and less harmful.

Positive discipline seems to be a really hot topic at the moment. Lots of teachers, educators, parenting and talking about it and it’s something that I was really interested in.

My mum practiced a lot of positive discipline. She was really clued up in the whole positive discipline world, and that’s how we were raised. It wasn’t until I became a parent, that I knew what it meant to be a positive discipline kind of parent.

So, I’m gonna share just the basic concept of positive discipline. I am not qualified in any way I’m just a parent interested in the subject, and wanting to share my own experiences, and my techniques in case that helps other mums, and fathers out there. 

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There are no bad children in this world

The basics of positive discipline is that there are no bad children, there’s good and bad behavior, and positive discipline is a model that focuses on bringing out the good sides, the good points of behavior. We don’t use the word naughty because I feel like it’s a way to brand the child, and not the behavior.

So, it’s all about teaching clear boundaries without the need for punishment. You don’t have to be a permissive parent or a soft parent as some people call to practice positive discipline. You can be firm, assertive, and respect your child’s feelings, and still bring out the good in their behavior. 

A bad behavior is a behavior that you don’t want your child to engage in. It may be something that your child does from time to time, but it’s not consistent, and is bothering you or others. 

“Please, don`t yell at children. Treat them as you treat flowers, as you treat your most precious ones“

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Conclusion

When your child does something that you don’t like, it’s natural to want to discipline him or her. However, this may not be the best way to deal with the problem because it might make things worse later on in life. If you want your child to learn good behavior, try using the above mentioned 6 best advice to parents to be kind, that are more effective and less harmful.

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